Cap 22: “I prefer to live In Love and Free than to be right.”

At this point most of the time I feel connected to it, I don’t feel Im separated from it, in fact, the only thing that was always keeping it at a distance from me was my own feelings.

Now it's kind of like I have nothing else to say more than what I Am and not just the body that says “Hello” to someone, but the entire thing, I wish I can show you how it feels or look or sense.

I only want to keep dissolving Myself in it until there is no way back, I only wish I can keep going with no restriction on where to go. I also kind of feel like I don’t want to be there all the time, I have things that I care about here - No that I wouldn’t care over there about those things, it's just that here, sometimes I have the chance to see those things I care, or touch them or hug them, I sometimes hear the OM calling me to close my eyes and Go.

Is not that I don’t want to be here or be there - It’s just that now I understand whatever I Am, that is also writing these pages - sometimes want to hang out over there and sometimes want to hang out over here - If I'm there I can have access to everything I want, except what this plane gives me, I'm here and there and sometimes I would love to be all the way there and sometimes all the way here.

I once was talking with a dear dear friend of mine, we were talking about Death and he was trying to get the point across that to get a new kind of knowledge of the universe you would have to die first. But I think is possible to acquire some kind of enjoyment out of death without actually having to die. Maybe you won’t get understanding, maybe not all the information as chatGPT has it - but at least you will feel enjoyment out of Death by Living here, not necessarily by dying.

In the same sense that only you know what it feels to be in love - we can enjoy the feeling of Death - or Living since it is just the same coin - without understanding. 

Like the phrase says: “Love is the only thing that everybody can experience - but nobody can describe”.

In the same sense as Terence Mckenna puts it, there is no need to understand the thing but what is needed is that you feel the thing.

Not so long ago I was taking my dog for a walk and ended up in a dog park where I usually go with her - It was about 10 am - I should have been working at that moment but was able to sneak out for a little while to walk her. 

Because it was 10 am, not a lot of people were there, only two other dog owners were there and as good neighbors, we started to talk to each other.

My dog got along with one of the dogs in the park and started playing all around - they got into a little water ravine (quebrada) in the park and started to run all over the place - another dog that was around started to get jealous and attacked the dog that was playing with my dog - so the dog owner of the dog that was playing with mine had to leave the park - after a while I had to go too - I was supposed to be working, you know - as soon as I get up from the bench I was sitting I notice a chakra bracelet in the floor - I picked it up and ask the only dog owner now if it was hers - she said no - must be from the other guy; either way I put it on and think - “is mine now”.

After a couple of days, I was hanging out with a friend of mine and she asked where that bracelet came from - I told the story and then she proceeded to ask: “Did you clean it? - you know, it could have bad energies.”

This is what I mean by “I feel connected to it”. The only thing I can think of at that moment is that if it wasn’t clean it wouldn’t end up on my wrist.

I understand now that there is a place in the universe that is above good and evil, there is a place that includes what can be dirty and what can be clean, a space where if you stay there for a while you can pick what side are you on - do you see things as dirty or do you see things as clean? - Whatever happens in your life, do you see it as dirty things, like when your bf cheated on you - or do you see only clean things like the universe removing toxic people from your path, like that bf that cheated on you?

It is only a matter of perspective, how far away are you seeing the thing - that dirty thing or that clean thing - the difference is only in the distance between you and the thing you are seeing.

E.g: If you are close enough to a tree, you can easily see the difference between branches, leaves, flowers, and the rest of the tree, you can be able to see the different parts of a tree if the perspective is the correct one, but if you are far away you might still be only seeing trees, but you would describe it as a mountain, even tho there are composed of the same kind of thing, in this case, trees.

In this example it can be understood that is only a matter of perspective to understand what is ordered or what is not ordered - if your perspective is close enough you can see the mess, the different parts, the movement and connection of those parts, but if you are far away, you can see what those part create - in big scale - a completely new structure that is in harmony. You can only see a Mountain.

In the same way - there is a place in the Mind where thoughts can be seen as a landscape, as a mountain, but if you get down there you can see that there is a whole mess of things that are happening in the mind, you just need a little space between the Mind and where you are, so the Mind does not trick you into thinking that there is only a messy thing that you can not get rid of it.

In the Yin and Yang symbol you can see that there is a barrier that is a circle which includes the good and the evil - the bad energy and the good energy - the dirty and the clean - is not that there is not bad energy, is just that if you are the one that includes both, then you can pick the side you want, and is not that you are ignoring the bad part of it, you know there is a bad part on everything which only means that there is a good part in everything too. Which would you like to put your life force towards? the good part that has a little bad - or the bad part that only has a little good?

This whole thing is called the Duality of Life, if you do not know how to cultivate what your Mind does, then you would not be able to rise above it. is not that the mind includes you - You include the Mind.

As mentioned in a previous chapter, if you get to know the real you, then you realize the whole Universe is Your Self - which means that you include the Ego you think you are, and you also include the Mind that is making a mess out of a beautiful thing called Life.

Raise above summabitch - get yourself to the place in your Soul where you can see the landscape and don’t just look at the parts, if there are parts then there is a whole that includes the parts - if there are thoughts - then there is a space that includes all that.

Think of the human body, with a good enough distance you can see curve in a woman, you can see long hair and beautiful eyes, which make most of the time a great great landscape, but when you get really close, inside the human body, there is blood, organs, fluid and so much more that makes it not that nice.

In the same way - you can place yourself in a space in the Soul where is the good enough distance so you see the beauty of it all.

Your thoughts or Ego will keep telling you that that is horse shit and that is not true, but you can explore all that by yourself.

Go there.

As Ram Dass used to say: “I prefer to live In Love and Free than to be right.”

Powered by Froala Editor