Cap 11: I just came back from a whole week in El Alto Putumayo

Note for de reader: this one has another tone.

I just came back from a whole week in El Alto Putumayo, I was with 11 of the most beautiful Paisa specimens, one of those being my now girlfriend, a couple of the funniest guys called Diegos, the most cheekest ( the word before the parenthesis is a poor attempt to say “nalgona”) Bogota and best energy I have ever seen, there was a "tree hugger" aspect looking girl, with too much history and good attitude and energy to keep going in life just because the whole universe will be hers once, I would love to work with her some day, a black crazy singer from another world my dad and some of the most good-hearted people in Medellin. The Taita was as funny as you can possibly imagine a guru can be, and the whole town was full of green grass, the most delicious river, and ancestral culture everywhere, was the perfect combination for really awesome encounter with Mother Aya - now in the form of the Father - Yage.

The first day I was chilling I was trying to get my thoughts in one place, can’t do, memories from the future and life I know I don’t have and I will probably never have, life of passion and something else. 

I noticed someone is unusually friendly and full of life in the face, is a She/Her for those questioning (lol), she started talking about all her experiences and she is so happy she is going in an adventure, she later finds out how strong Love is and that if you’re are not ready for it, your mind can just turn it into hell, tell me about it.

In this atmosphere there is some kind of energy that attracts the hell out of me, don’t know exactly what is, but in the beginning, is so mystic and warm, it's normally when I'm arriving at the place of ceremonies when I'm arriving at a Saint place, it just feels like its calling. But also feels like it's not the life I'm not supposed to be living.

When you give a person a Life she/he does not know how to live, is crazy hard for that person to behave at its best, even more challenging to do, be yourself around the one that gives you the opportunity of this Life you don’t know, in this case, for this week, that opportunity was given to me for the hands of a about-to-be-shaman guy, and his crew, they take me to it’s own Taita, what a place.

There’s go evening, we are waiting for the first Ceremony to take place, it starts at 8.30pm and is expected to go until 6 am. in each of the ceremonies The Taita will be calling for a refill, a max of 3 times during this period of time.

I tell myself, here we go again, I'm in the shaman's feet and receive the first cup, you know how crazy your heart goes when is in your hands, finally.

I spend the night vomiting the shit out of my anxiety. what a relief.

My mind was full speed, I haven’t done any strong psychedelic in more than a year, I bearly do a quarter LSD now and there. the crazy thing is I only have one thought on my mind over and over again and is one that even tho I'm drowned to it, I try to fight it, looks like passion is getting to my heart. 

I go to bet, I sleep like a baby.

The second day comes, we are not doing Aya on this day, we going to be chatting, chilling, mambe, know ourselves and share experiences from the night before. At night had a dream about a Vigilante, a crazy big white dog that came to my side of the bet and lick me I was in panic but as soon as I open my eyes, I knew I was in the right place, so much calmness.

Here comes the 3rd day, the ceremony at 8.30pm again. 
So I hear this phrase: “If there is some kind of connection I think you should be able to explore it”, does that apply to everything, what about female humans, those are odd, awesome, and sexy. I engage, smooth and subtle, but not that much, any other female was able notice, we male humans, idiots.

But there is that energy that attracts the hell out of me again, now in that form, and it’s tattooed too.

We are getting ready for the ceremony, everybody has tasted the Yage from The Taita, Rape from the big smiley guy and the "hans drum" music from the Taita itself.

Now we knew what we were up against.

The first cup, I drank, I wait peacefully in a blanked in the floor of the Maloca, I just wish I can be there again, I miss the whole space, I miss that touch, I miss Mother Aya and here I am, trying knocking in her door again, will she open this time?

I made a promise after the first ceremony I know I have to make it true and I put it in my heart, it's the first time making a promise that I know I’m going to do in the future.
Anything to be in the presence of God itself. 

The music was so great I did not stop listening to it even if there was absolute silence at the Maloca, did not hear the Shaman asking for refill, did not hear one of the Diegos calling me for the second cup, did not hear anything but music.

I suddenly open my eyes, the Taita is saying to come for the 3rd cup of the night. I go, I said to him: “ I only need a little bit, I'm really close to it, but not quite there”.
Taita: “This one is a really small cup, drink this”

I: “Taita, that's too much, I just need a little little bit”

Taita: “I will give you half of this special baby cup”
I: Drank - “Thank you, Taita”.

I was starting to see the pattern printing in my pupils. I know I can probably be there tonight.

My mind goes into crazy mode again, I cannot detach from it, I haven’t practiced my meditation as I used to.

I've trying to help people, a crazy dude that traveled and was staying in my home for a month until the day I went to El alto Putumayo; because of this I was not able to deal with myself for the period of time this dude stay with me, people around makes me different, idk.

Once I knew I could not detach from my mind I just tried to listen to it, all kinds of things happened there. Thoughts of a future life I know I won’t probably live and something else.

Close to the end of the night I commanded, I just wanna fcking rest.
My mind follows the other.
There I was, Is that place again. What a relief.

The weeks before going to, El Alto Putumayo, I was wondering: “wow, must be nice for those guys that can have two girlfriends at the same time, those poly guys”.

I was wondering this because of that form with that energy that attracts me and my now girlfriend, has to be nice having both, am I right?

I noticed something is there, Is always when you know she knows you know she knows too.

So I recently came across a thought of something interesting, you know about thoughts most are bs but one, here and there, are a beauty, this one, in particular, came kind of like, if the universe is just one big thing in the sense of: for my veins and arteries, for my heart and lungs, the human body is a big thing, a complex structure that unified all of that into one thing, but only if I analyze it, only if I opened it up, I can see that is made of parts, otherwise, I can only see a person, a human, kind of like that is the universe we are in.

but then if that is true, if my organs are "stuck" in my body, then the Body is stuck somewhere.

The soul can try to pull the body all day long but it won't move, it depends on the obstacle we are facing, some are Soul obstacles and some are Body obstacles, so some times, the soul has to go a step back and help/let the body pass that obstacle, so they both can continue the awakening path, both align, then the chakras and subtle energies can be light up with Love and you become one with everything. 

In other words, the Body, and Soul must be aligned on experiences, both need to have the richness of life in order to become Buddha.

This body is crazy for experiences, I can only tell now because there is an identification of the little me, the Ego, the one that craves, and sometimes if the kid behaves well enough you end up giving the chocolate to them.

I think I need some specific experiences, that will be chocolate to my Body, while my Soul waits a little further around the corner.

There comes the last Ceremony, I feel I kept repeating in my mind: “I know I have to do it, just give me time.“

I soon as I drank the first cup I knew I was going to be there again, there has been 30 mins when I cannot hold the medicine any longer, I needed to throw up, and I wanted to wait until the Wairas started, I put shoes on and go out of the Maloca, as soon as the first drop of vomit came out of my mouth I was seeing visions of the beautiful place.

I went back in after a couple of minutes of Alivio. I started to take deep big breaths, and then I saw her, the Love of the Mother touching my cheek again, calling me by her side, I went into the infinite Love and Understanding, I was seeing the colors of Life itself, and so many more, there I was getting teaching from Love about Love.

She shows me the path I need to continue, what do I do, do I go rich in money and time, do I go rich in Time and Space?

The answer is obvious at this stage, I have nothing but Love to give.

I'm back at my apartment, new life starts now. Again.

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